Archive for love

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Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on April 13, 2010 by scaredykatt

i’m sick of facebook, sick of tumblr, dailybooth, twitter. the whole social networking scene has started to bore me.

so, i was sat here, in bed, 1.20 am wondering what on earth i should do.

so here i am, i’m going to start a blog. again.

now, here’s the tricky part, what the hell can i write about seeing as today i didn’t even wake up until 3, never mind make an effort to even change out of my pyjamas. well, having said that, i did wake up at half ten this morning, which is quite an achievement for me, but then i got up, made myself a cup of tea and then thought whats the point? and got straight back into bed. anyway, when i finally did get up, i did absolutely nothing, i’ve pretty much been sat in bed all day thinking about stuff which just gets me down anyway.

like how my social life has pretty much died since i dumped my ex-boyfriend. i guess it’s my own fault really, i loved him to pieces, was just incredibly unhappy and i think i blamed him, so i ended it. via text. mistake number 1. then went to one of my closest friends house, who happens to be a boy. which inevitably got him involved in the whole situation and he ended up with a group of angry kids outside his front door. mistake number 2. then i got drunk. mistake number 3. and started texting him. mistake number 4. then apparently got off with a different ex-boyfriend. mistake number 5. the list continues. so yeah, now, all of my friends, who are also his friends, now don’t speak to me. and the one thing which always made me happy, going into town, i can’t do anymore because i will most definitely bump into said ex-boyfriend which will probably cause some sort of drama of which i can’t be bothered with at the moment. so now, i’m left with a few decent friends who’ve stuck by me through the whole thing. Emily, Charli and Harry. then there’s my other friends from school who i don’t really speak to outside of mossley hollins. i just want to move out of that whole group of friends really, i’m trying to, i’ve been going to springhead with emily a hell of a lot, i’m just too shy to really talk to the people there which is quite unusual seeing as normally i’d be the one making the conversations. i think i’ve just suffered a severe knock to my confidence. it’s not that i’m not over my ex, i think i’m done with that now, i’ve kind of moved on. i think its the fact that everything has fallen from under my feet so suddenly. i’m having to rebuild everything from scratch. i think another thing that’s dragging me down is the fact i feel completely alone, i’m so used to having someone who loves me, and now he’s gone it’s weird. i mean, i kind of like someone at the moment though, i’m really not sure about it. i think i’ve been more pushed into being interested in him though, like, i hardly know him, but it’s been drilled into my head that i should like him. i mean, yeah, he seems like a nice person, if not a bit mean, he’s funny. exactly my type, but i feel like i think that because that’s what people have been telling me to think. i don’t know. i’d rather just get to know someone first. i think if i would have met him without people saying all this stuff to me i would have ended up liking him but it’s still kind of like, you know. :/ well, you probably don’t, pahah, but you get the general picture. hmm. i don’t think i’d stand a chance in hell anyway, so i might as well just forget about it.